You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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