Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm both gender and math confused
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
