I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
