Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line