Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i believe in u and ur pee