Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?