her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
