just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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