I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
