I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I touched a dick in church today
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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