Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
