My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
