I love black thongs
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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