My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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