Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
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