That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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