I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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