bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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