I think im going to throw up on grandma
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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