Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
