dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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