he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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