you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize