im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
