apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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