He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is it penis luge time yet?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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