Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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