when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
