Your mouth is God's brothel.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
