Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just had sex on a roof
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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