my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
