Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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