dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
