i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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