Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize