whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
