i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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