Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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