it glows. i had to have it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
