quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
