Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
