we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
