her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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