i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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