Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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