all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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