Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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