Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
