i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
