2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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