please come you make the beer taste better
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he fucked my hip out of place.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
