She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize