Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
