We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
