Will you blow on my dice?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
