She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
