My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
