What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
