Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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