ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's blow job season.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
