We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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