I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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