i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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