he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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